Skills that Impact Fathers, Families and Society

Have you ever thought about the power of certain words and skills that are needed to be a great father?  If you have, it is likely your list includes skills that we further educate ourselves and our children on continuously.  We must do this as well as instilling the importance and impact that these skills will have for the betterment of our families and country. We need to get beyond the finger pointing that we have been exposed to quite often.  To truly be great, it really comes down to collective responsibility.  We must be collectively responsible for the role as family leaders.  As Miami Heat All-Star Dwayne Wade described in his new book, A Father First: How My Life Became Bigger Than Basketball, “The daily role I play in the lives of my two children is the single most significant undertaking of my life, and the job I take most seriously.”  Collectively we can meet the needs, not only of this job, but responsibility to instill greatness in future generations.

After doing some thinking, I began to formulate a list, as to what I determined as a father to be some of the important skill sets to teach my own children. I found that after reading countless books and articles over the years, it is often that common themes appear.  I thought I would share four key skills for you to consider revisiting, revamping or reflecting on with your family.

Commitment:
Commitment is huge in the development of fatherhood.  You may have heard the story about the chicken and the pig. The chicken is involved (laying the egg) in the making of breakfast,  whereas the pig is committed (becoming bacon) in the making of breakfast.  How committed are you, or are you just involved?  The commitment of fatherhood is a lifetime commitment.  I have read that in the Kentucky Derby, the winning horse effectively runs out of oxygen after the first half mile, and he goes the rest of the way on heart. Dads, we need to really think about the difference we make in other people's lives as a leader.  We need to look into our hearts to see if we are really committed.

Selfless Service:
Defined as a service which is performed without any expectation of result or award for the person performing it.  In many cases selfless service is about putting all others’ needs in front of yours.  You are able and willing to lend a hand and assist, to give your time when you would rather do something else.  Giving of your most precious commodity, time, is a tremendous asset to others.  To really influence others, to make a significant impact in the lives of children, we must get in the boat with them and paddle in the same direction.  We add value to people when we serve them.  This will in turn help to develop the relationship we want and need allowing us to connect and make a difference in our families lives.

Character Development:
I have heard Buzz Williams, Marquette University Men’s Basketball Coach, speak on how character may be the most important skill he develops with his players.  Character always goes with you; you cannot run away from or hide from your character traits.  As dads, we have an unbelievable obligation to instill the highest character traits in our children and families.  Coach Williams has often stated, “I don’t want any s’s”; meaning he wants guys with high character and not characters.  Character makes trust possible, and trust is the foundation of leadership.

Leadership:
As a father, you are obviously one of the most influential keys to your child’s success.  As the book, Lincoln on Leadership reminds us; “Everywhere we go, at every conceivable opportunity, reaffirm, reassert, and remind everyone of the basic principles upon which you have been raised.”  Our children not only hear us, they watch our every move very closely.  We have to instill the leadership quality with the understanding that our actions must be worth following.  There is no leadership without followship and for there to be followship there must be fellowship.  More than anything else, followers want to believe that their leaders are ethical and honest.

Within this month, these skills have already been put to work in our home.  Commitment levels include reading nightly with our children, even though we may rather watch a show or attend a ballgame.  After all, how can you refuse to read that nighttime story, when you hear that voice, “book please.”   Selfless service has been practiced by attending and serving our church community.  In particular, Kendall loves to volunteer to help others.  She is always eager to lend a helping hand outside of the home.   It is with great pride that she will be receiving her first communion as her and our families selfless service continues.  Character traits are revealed daily.  I often tell the girls, which is a reminder to me as well, to “do the right thing no matter who is watching”.  For those of us, who have had our hand caught in the cookie jar this certainly relates.  This may have recently happened in our home more often since Gretchen and I have been dieting.  This serves a good reminder to us all that somebody is always watching.  The skill of leadership has been tested continuously in our home.   Always keep in mind, your family takes constant cues from you, make sure you are living a life worthy of followship.  I hope our daughters are proud of the direction we are leading them.    Which direction are you heading?

Monthly Quote:  “Listen, there is no way any true man is going to let children live around him in his home and not discipline and teach, argue and mold them until they know all he knows. His goal is to make them better than he is. Being their friend is a distant second to this.” – Victor Devlin

Monthly Challenge:  Take time to build, define  and share your powerful words and skills that you believe to be paramount to your success on your journey through fatherhood.  Make it a point to share your list with family, friends or co-workers.

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