If you are like most people, undoubtedly you have had your fill with the Government Shut Down by now. As the threat and ultimately the reality of the shutdown plays out over time, we must think about our role as fathers within families and even on a much larger scale, within society. Could you imagine employing such unacceptable behavior as shutting down fatherhood? However, all too often we may be guilty and failing to recognize that we might be displaying characteristics of a shutdown without knowing it. Remember the days of going back and forth with, “What did your mother say?”, “What did your father say?” Feeling like a ping pong ball in this conversation, you were ultimately put into a position to be a little deceitful, and you maybe answered one of those questions with, “She/He said it was ok, if you don’t care”.
As fathers, we have to remind ourselves that we are always on the clock. We cannot simply shut down, and yet expect all to go well and receive payment in return. From the moment our children were born, we were obligated to heed the call. As fathers, we are servants, elected officials, ones in which our constituents, including our wives and other family members are highly dependent.
Understandably, not all homes are made up the same way. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 24 million children in America -- one out of three -- live in biological father-absent homes. However, just because we may not fit into the same box as families, we as fathers have to make sure that we are family leaders. We need to make sure we are the men that our children need to see in times of turmoil and tension as well as during times of triumph. Recall the reminder, shared by Rodney Atkins in his song, “I’ve Been Watching You”. We must make sure we do not shut down and do what is best for our children.
Just as in government, it is likely that we find ourselves in trouble when we think of ourselves first. Trouble raises its ugly head when we push our own agenda, when we become so immersed in attacking the ‘other side”. The late American author, salesman, and motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar stated, “Some people find fault like there is a reward for it.” Think about how many times you may have participated or been witness to such ‘game playing’ at the family level. What may start out as a perceived harmless comment or action, spirals out of control and ultimately affects family relationships. All too often during these times, our children end up caught in the middle, sometimes even used as a tactical ploy for adults to get what they want. This may sound far too familiar and the end result is the same as a governmental shutdown, innocent people are hurt by the selfish actions of a few. When I think about avoiding shut down, I am reminded of a quote by Henry Ford, “Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.” In retrospect, sometimes you just have to put the common good of others, especially our children, ahead of personal wants.
A great book and movie, I recently read and watched, that illustrates personal sacrifice is Moneyball. As a film, it was nominated for six Academy Awards including Best Actor and Best Picture. It follows the story of professional baseball’s executive from the Oakland Athletics named Billy Beane (played by Brad Pitt). The film reminds all of us that when there are difficult times in our lives, we must avoid being selfish. When there are disagreements within the family (whether married, separated, divorced etc.), we must keep the end product in mind, that collectively we must do what’s best for our children. As the film plays out, Beane is faced with a difficult decision in his career, but the words of his daughter from a song she has written for him makes his choice clear.
Even though he is divorced from the mother of his daughter, and free to move with his daughter’s blessing, in the end, he will not move away from her. He will not shut down as a father, to acquire a financial victory. Ultimately, he chose a relationship with his daughter over financial gain and career advancement, passing on a $12.5 million dollar salary with the Boston Red Sox. Hopefully all of us would have the strength to do the same. Obviously, Billy Beane refused to shut down his role as a father. He knew that he took the oath, that when he became a father, he was signing up to serve others. This certainly is a lesson that all of us, including government leaders can apply currently and reflect upon with future decisions.
Monthly Challenge:
Day to day family life can wear all of us down. Mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, you and your family can become drained. At a minimum, you can lose sight of what is most important in your lives, and put you on the brink of a shutdown. Take time as a family to discuss what you, as a father, believe to be the most important thing you can do for them, and why you believe that to be the case.
Monthly Quote:
“I don't want to live in the kind of world where we don't look out for each other. Not just the people that are close to us, but anybody who needs a helping hand. I can't change the way anybody else thinks, or what they choose to do, but I can do my bit.” ― Charles de Lint, World Fantasy Award winning author coshoctontribune.com
