I subscribe to numerous blogs and websites, and follow over 750 leaders, fathers, and some of the finest motivators on the popular social media venue, Twitter. With the masses of instant information available, it can become consuming if not overwhelming. There is no shortage of information, opinion and advice via social media and the “talking heads” on television and radio. A huge focus of mine is using the tools to better myself as a father, husband and family man. Another huge focus is to use these avenues of learning to better educate my children as well as myself. With that being said, sometimes just taking time to sit down and do one of America's favorite pastimes, watching movies, can really help you connect further with the family.
I grew up in a family like that. We would watch the old 8mm tapes some homemade, others not, many without sound. I can still hear my fathers voice recanting the, “this was at”, “that is so-so”, “do you remember when”, “the year must be”. Well just imagine my surprise when you guessed it, Gretchen’s family pulled out some old footage of her pre-teen and teen days. Watching movies, whether homemade, rented, or on the big screen have always been a time for reflection, connection, and action.
My children are particularly found of Disney movies. Myself, I am a big fan of lessons of hope, inspiration and motivation. With the recent holiday time, we found ourselves watching or re-watching several of our favorites. It is amazing how many times you can watch a movie, while each time picking up a greater detail that can be implemented into your daily life.
So here are some of the lessons I have learned or want to continue to improve upon with some of our favorite movies. It is amazing that if your read, or watch something enough, and you believe in what you are seeing and hearing, that you may learn similar lessons.
Lesson #1: Guide and encourage rather than command.
During the Lion King, Mufasa reminded us that our children can learn about obedience and facing the consequences of their actions. We as dads have to understand that although our children may rebel against rules and demands, we have the obligation to remind them not only of who they are, but who they can become.
Lesson #2: Give your kids the freedom to lead their own lives.
The Little Mermaid’s King Triton told us the world can oftentimes be a scary place. This does not mean that children should neglect to experience it. We as fathers have to know when to let go of our children, think back to the first few pedals without training wheels. Just remember, whatever good or bad experiences they may have will help them become the strong individuals they are meant to be.
Lesson #3: Don’t forget to appreciate the good times when you’re going through the bad.
Throughout The Incredibles’, Mr. Incredible taught us that being a dad is hard and often frustrating work. However, don’t let the crazy moments outshine the great ones. Remember that your time with your family is the best time of your life, and the memories you make now are the ones you’ll treasure in later years. Thank goodness for home videos!
Lesson #4: You can be there for your child without being overprotective.
While watching Finding Nemo, we learn from Marlin that as a father, we must understand that there comes a time when children need to explore the world on their own. Coddling them may only make them resentful or less able to deal with difficulties they face in life. This doesn’t mean we are abandoning them, but just taking a step back. It’s important for them to understand that when unexpected things happen, you’ll give them the support they need, but this does not mean bail them out or be their problem solvers. We can suggest, but ultimately, problems are personal.
Lesson #5: Being a dad means being a role model.
One of my all-time favorites, The Pursuit of Happyness’, based on Christopher Gardner’s nearly one-year struggle with homelessness, is the epitome of why fathers should always take pride in being inspirations to their children. This not only is true of when things are going smoothly, but also when the going gets tough. When life puts you to the test, this is the perfect time to show your kids what real strength and courage is all about.
Reminders surround us daily. Read anything, watch anything, go anywhere and we can see lessons come to life. We are an instant gratification society. But if you don’t have the time to watch a movie, just think about these quick lessons learned, and the ones we may miss.
Monthly Challenge:
Movies are everywhere. Their stories, phrases, and scenes are a part of our culture.
We all have favorite movies, favorite memories relating to movies, and in some cases movies that help us define our lives. While you may not think about it, movies have probably enriched your life. After sitting down with the family, take time to ask reflective questions for example:
- What was/were your favorite scene(s) and why?
- Which characters, if any, do you most identify with in some way?
- What insight do you gain from this movie?
- What in this movie inspires you?
Monthly Quote:
“Every great film should seem new every time you see it."- Roger Ebert”
