Fatherhood: Motivation, Discipline and Consistency

Father's Day is approaching. A time to celebrate the huge contribution made to family life by our nation's dads.  This day is a special moment of the year to say thanks for all the sacrifices made, for the hard work, for the long hours of parenthood that dads put in. What really needs to be celebrated is what world renowned author and speaker, John Maxwell states is, The Law of Consistency.  

In John Maxwell’s 15 Laws of Invaluable Growth he stresses the idea of in order to make significant change, to have an incredible impact, and to grow, consistency has to be one of the main ingredients. He concluded that “Motivation gets you going, but discipline keeps you growing.”

To become the dad we want to be we must look at three critical elements and debunk a few myths of how dads are portrayed. Let’s begin with three questions we need to ask ourselves.    

How will I remain Motivated?

When I think of motivation I can’t help but picture Zig Ziglar.  Zig’s leadership lesson were unprecedented and each of his lessons could be tied to being a better father.  One of his most famous sayings was, “People say motivation doesn’t last, well neither does bathing, that’s why we recommend it daily”.  Think about it to be good at something, you have to be motivated.  Fatherhood is no different.  

How will I remain Disciplined?

As Arthur Gordon said, "Nothing is easier than saying words. Nothing is harder than living them, day after day. What you promise today must be renewed and decided tomorrow and each day that stretches out before you."  Discipline is a matter of taking total responsibility for your future.  Discipline is often misinterpreted.  Many people link discipline to being in trouble.  But if you look deeper, a discipline is what you learn.  Be strong enough to discipline yourself, so others will not have to.  

How will I become Consistent?

If you want to continue to improve, if you want to continue to grow you must be consistent.  Everyday, you need to do something to improve as a father.  There is an old saying that you are either getting better, or you are getting worse, you never stay the same.   What we practice consistently is the skill level we develop.  Becoming a great dad, is a skill we should try everyday to obtain mastery level.  

Secondly, we need to acknowledge two major differences portrayed in fatherhood,  the Entertainment World vs. the Real World.

Many dads are often portrayed as incompetent and other not so glamorous adjectives on television shows.The only consistency that is often seen is their inability to do things correctly, their inability hold a job, or to be absent all together.  We need to make sure this is not the dad our kids interact with.  While it may seem harmless to get a few cheap laughs at dads' expense, these characters, and their hilarious incompetence, form the backdrop for our society's water cooler and social media discussions about the roles fathers play in families.   Some of these portrayals may even reflect and encourage a damaging attitude towards men and their ability to be a great father. Through motivation, discipline, and consistency we can enlighten people to the fact, that this is not the dads we want to be.  

Thirdly,  We need to make sure fatherhood is about spending quantity time.  Maxwell, in referring to his Law of Consistency, is quick to point out that far too often we become inconsistent by using the term, “someday”.  We will go there “someday”; we can go to the park, “someday” etc.  What is evident is that “someday” doesn’t work.  That being a “someday” dad doesn’t cut it.  Everyday is what works.  Someday does not.  This does not mean that you have to be with your children 24,  7, 365, however it does mean you have to be about your role as a dad, and improving this highly regarded position 24, 7, 365.   You have to be consistent to be a great dad.  You have to spend quantity time to grow.   As Real World dads, we must seek quantity time.

Lastly, as Real World dads, we must spend quality time. Giving quality time forces us to make deliberate choices to spend time together in everyday life: whether eating meals, walking around the block, going to the store, or cleaning the house.  Because of consistency, these everyday settings naturally give way to remarkable moments.  Through consistently spending quality time together unforgettable moments occur.  We often have the best intentions of spending plenty of time with our families.   But the reality is, we can't plan the treasured moments any more than we can plan the perfect Christmas morning snowfall.  These moments happen through consistency.  

So how do you plan to grow? How do you plan to be more consistent as a father?

Monthly Quote:

“Nobody ever becomes an expert parent. But I think good parenting is about consistency. It's about being there at big moments, but it's also just the consistency of decision making. And it's routine.” - Sebastian Coe

Monthly Challenge:

Answer the three questions posed above and develop your goals to becoming a better dad..  How will you remain motivated? How will you remain disciplined? How will you become consistent?