Accepting the Challenge

Since beginning this column, I have ended each of the previous sixteen entries with a monthly challenge and quote. From time to  time, I have had people approach me and discuss how they have implemented the different challenges whether it be with their children or in their place of employment.  I was recently encourage to consider an article that would encompass all the previous challenges into one article.  After this conversation, I too thought it would be appropriate to not only re-post, but also to re-take the challenges.  Just as we have recently, ‘fallen back’ in terms of daylight savings time, let’s fall back and move forward, by once again facing some of these previous monthly challenges.  Here listed are the previous challenges.

1.  Think and list 10-15 empowering words that describe your child(ren).  Make time with them to share your list.

2.  Make time with your family to share some of your favorite travel, vacation or childhood memories.  If photo albums or videos are available, make sure to pull them out and spend time recanting these moments.

3. With the school year now up and running, my hope is that you will do a little research on your own and play a role in the academic success of your student.  If you know longer have students in school, look how you may be able to make an impact on a student that lives in your area..  

4. Take time this month to sit down with your children and have your own “Life Lessons” session. Build a list of lessons learned from your upbringing and memories that you can share with your children. Be sure to discuss how that has helped to make you the parent you are today.

5. Sometimes getting out of the house is important. Hop in the family car and go for a drive.  Plan a roadtrip with your children to revisit the place where you grew up.  If this is not possible, sit down and share your childhood memories through pictures and words.

6. Inventory your needs and wants.  Make it a point to share the spirit of Christmas with those around you by choosing an activity of service for your neighborhood or community.  Make somebody’s day by wishing as many people as you can a Merry Christmas.

7.  Ask yourself why you pursue the passions you pursue.   Ask yourself, "Why do I do what I do? What is my purpose? After asking yourself, take the time to reflect and journal your list.

8. List and discuss your families simple pleasures.  Take time to recall the really simple things that continue to put a smile on your face and the face of others.  

9.  Take time to build, define  and share your powerful words and skills that you believe to be paramount to your success on your journey through fatherhood.  Make it a point to share your list with family, friends or co-workers.  

10.  Look over All Pro Dad classic Top 10 list to see how well you measure up as a father.  Set a measurable goal by assigning each key point listed one point.  Take the time to keep a daily or weekly score and discuss your evidence of what or how you did.  Have your family keep score with you and you will have impactful conversations.  

11. Take time to list the top 10 qualities you have learned from your mother that have helped to shape the person that you are today.  If possible, create and frame your list.  It is the perfect gift from your heart.  

12. Cities around the country have linked father-daughter dances together into a national event highlighting the important role of fathers in the lives of their children. Whether it is on stage or in the living room of your own home, make time to dance with your daughter.

13. You may not have to go to the extreme of 6 months as Susan Maushart put her family through, but make it an emphasis to limit screen time for yourself and children.  Chart the hours your family spends being plugged in versus being unplugged.  Remember our children often  watch more closely than we may think, we must model being “unplugged”.

14.  Take the time to watch the music video by Rodney Atkins and listen to the words of “Watching You” intently.  Sit down with your children and discuss a time that you have said or done something that you may not be proud of, but by being immediately honest things worked out.  This activity will emphasize that even when we make mistakes, the most important thing we must do is to be honest take responsibility and live a life of integrity.

15. We all know of a “Big Bob”.  Take time to sit down with and have breakfast with somebody that emulates what the Greatest Generation stood for. Put away the technology and listen to their world wide teachings.  Pay particular attention to their stories of commitment and sacrifice during what as many seem to think of as a much simpler time.

16. Day to day family life can wear all of us down.  Mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, you and your family can become drained.  At a minimum, you can lose sight of what is most important in your lives, and put you on the brink of a shutdown. Take time as a family to discuss what you, as a father, believe to be the most important thing you can do for them, and why you believe that to be the case.

Monthly Challenge: Take the challenge of putting the sixteen previous challenges into action.  Keep a checklist handy and grade yourself.  A great way to spend the upcoming Thanksgiving season is to share your results with your family and friends.

Monthly Quote: “Be thankful for each new challenge, because it will build your strength and character. ” ~ Author Unknown, from Be Thankful

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No Shutdown to Fatherhood

If you are like most people, undoubtedly you have had your fill with the Government Shut Down by now.  As the threat and ultimately the reality of the shutdown plays out over time, we must think about our role as fathers within families and even on a much larger scale, within society.  Could you imagine employing such unacceptable behavior as shutting down fatherhood?  However, all too often we may be guilty and failing to recognize that we might be displaying characteristics of a shutdown without knowing it.  Remember the days of going back and forth with, “What did your mother say?”, “What did your father say?” Feeling like a ping pong ball in this conversation, you were ultimately put into a position to be a little deceitful, and you maybe answered one of those questions with,   “She/He said it was ok, if you don’t care”.   

As fathers, we have to remind ourselves that we are always on the clock.  We cannot simply shut down, and yet expect all to go well and receive payment in return.  From the moment our children were born, we were obligated to heed the call.  As fathers, we are servants, elected officials, ones in which our constituents, including our wives and other family members are highly dependent.

Understandably, not all homes are made up the same way.  According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 24 million children in America -- one out of three -- live in biological father-absent homes.  However, just because we may not fit into the same box as families, we as fathers have to make sure that we are family leaders.  We need to make sure we are the men that our children need to see in times of turmoil and tension as well as during times of triumph.  Recall the reminder, shared by Rodney Atkins in his song, “I’ve Been Watching You”.  We must make sure we do not shut down and do what is best for our children.  

Just as in government, it is likely that we find ourselves in trouble when we think of ourselves first.  Trouble raises its ugly head when we push our own agenda, when we become so immersed in attacking the ‘other side”.  The late American author, salesman, and motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar stated, “Some people find fault like there is a reward for it.”  Think about how many times you may have participated or been witness to such ‘game playing’ at the family level.  What may start out as a perceived harmless comment or action, spirals out of control and ultimately affects family relationships.  All too often during these times, our children end up caught in the middle, sometimes even used as a tactical ploy for adults to get what they want.  This may sound far too familiar and the end result is the same as a governmental shutdown, innocent people are hurt by the selfish actions of a few.  When I think about avoiding shut down,  I am reminded of a quote by Henry Ford, “Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.”  In retrospect, sometimes you just have to put the common good of others, especially our children, ahead of personal wants.  

A great book and movie, I recently read and watched, that illustrates personal sacrifice is Moneyball.  As a  film, it was nominated for six Academy Awards including Best Actor and Best Picture.  It follows the story of professional baseball’s executive from the Oakland Athletics named Billy Beane (played by Brad Pitt).  The film reminds all of us that when there are difficult times in our lives, we must avoid being selfish.  When there are disagreements within the family (whether married, separated, divorced etc.), we must keep the end product in mind,  that collectively we must do what’s best for our children.   As the film plays out, Beane is faced with a difficult decision in his career, but the words of his daughter from a song she has written for him makes his choice clear.  

Even though he is divorced from the mother of his daughter, and free to move with his daughter’s blessing, in the end, he will not move away from her. He will not shut down as a father, to acquire a financial victory.  Ultimately, he chose a relationship with his daughter over financial gain and career advancement, passing on a $12.5 million dollar salary with the Boston Red Sox.  Hopefully all of us would have the strength to do the same.  Obviously, Billy Beane refused to shut down his role as a father.  He knew that he took the oath, that when he became a father, he was signing up to serve others.  This certainly is a lesson that all of us, including government leaders can apply currently and reflect upon with future decisions.  

Monthly Challenge:

Day to day family life can wear all of us down.  Mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, you and your family can become drained.  At a minimum, you can lose sight of what is most important in your lives, and put you on the brink of a shutdown. Take time as a family to discuss what you, as a father, believe to be the most important thing you can do for them, and why you believe that to be the case.

Monthly Quote:

“I don't want to live in the kind of world where we don't look out for each other. Not just the people that are close to us, but anybody who needs a helping hand. I can't change the way anybody else thinks, or what they choose to do, but I can do my bit.” ― Charles de Lint, World Fantasy Award winning author

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Get your Fatherhood on!

Check out these tremendous fathers Being Frank!
Thanks for the support.  Looking forward to our next time together!

Sunday Conversations with "Big Bob"

A legendary Buddhist proverb states,  “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”  I am  sure based on the dates associated with this proverb, they did not envision having these teachings taking place at McDonald’s on West High Avenue in New Philadelphia.  However,   nonetheless, this is exactly where my family has appeared after our eight-thirty church service for the better part of the last two years.

Why this location you may wonder?  It’s very simple.  The teacher, as Reese affectionately refers to as, “Big Bob” is holding court.   “Big Bob” is always teaching Gretchen, Kendall, Reese and I  his philosophy about how to live life the right way.  “Big Bob” is teaching me to cherish the moments like this as a dad, and I am not even sure he is aware of his impact.  Just being in the presence of “Big Bob,” makes you a better family and father.  “Big Bob” is often visited at McDonald’s by at least one, and in many cases, two or three of his now adult children, (one of which is known to Reese as  “Mr. Grumpy”) along with his grandchildren and my in-laws.

The two mile trip from the church parking lot to McDonald’s is always highlighted by Reese immediately recognizing “Big Bob’s” truck already parked, as he is always the first to arrive.  Upon entry, the girls bolt back to what they call, “our seats” and the learning begins. Routine is important, as it seems that we must all have assigned seats.  As the girls and Gretchen take their spots, I can overhear their giggling and hear “Big Bob” starting his lessons as my father- in-law and I order and wait on their breakfast items.  

Based on his experiences and teachings ,“Big Bob” is, as Tom Brokaw referred to in his 1998 book, part of The Greatest Generation. Brokaw wrote, " I hope in some small way to pay tribute to those men and women who have given us the lives we have today--an American family portrait album of the greatest generation."   The portrait that “Big Bob” clearly hangs is a pay it forward, fill your bucket, dead-on honest masterpiece.  He has earned that right.  The conversations always have you sitting on the edge of your chair, hanging on his every word.   As a family man, what he shares is just that good.  If a four and eight year old, never even ask to go to the PlayPlace,  and instead often walk over and share a high five or a knock-knock joke, with a gentleman, that I am not sure that they know his last name, speaks volumes of his teachings.  

To my knowledge based on all of our conversations, “Big Bob” was never a teacher in terms of a school system.  However, there is no doubt, that by listening to his stories, by responding to the, “Hey Frank” call from the corner chair, he is a life teacher.  Mr. Robert, “Bob”  Zucal is a teacher of people, of life and family.  This student continues to look forward to his worldly viewpoints, his wealth of wisdom, and his walk down fatherhood’s memory lane.  If you would like to join us someday, you are more than welcome.  Just be sure not to mistakenly sit in “Big Bob’s” chair.  

Monthly Quote:

“In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.” - Tom Bodett, American author, voice actor, and radio host

Monthly Challenge:

We all know of a “Big Bob”.  Take time to sit down with and have breakfast with somebody that emulates what the Greatest Generation stood for. Put away the technology and listen to their world wide teachings.  Pay particular attention to their stories of commitment and sacrifice during what as many seem to think of as a much simpler ti

Every dad is obligated to teach Integrity

Dads we have an obligation. We have an obligation to our children, family and society to make sure we are examples of integrity.  This is in no way a small or easy task.  We are constantly competing against poor examples, and many cases from people our society deem as successful or important. The stories from the likes of Lance Armstrong, Tiger Woods, Anthony Weiner, Ryan Braun, Lindsay Lohan, and Alex Rodriguez  to name a few,  in the last several weeks and years have exposed our society to numerous leaders, athletes and celebrities that quite simply do not get it.  In far too many cases, these examples are or have been glorified.  Dads we have to compete and win with our children.  We have to be the example of honesty and integrity our children need to see.  We need to understand that not only must we serve our society, but we are creating it.   Men of integrity are secure, not only because they tell the truth, but because they live the truth of whom they are.  To quote Tony Dungy, “Integrity is what you do when no one is watching; it's doing the right thing all the time, even when it may work to your disadvantage.”

Unfortunately you need to look no further than the latest scandals consuming our press and social media outlets to realize we must do better.  These unfortunate reports involving deceit and lies, cheating and denial, investigations and reported results boldly demonstrate that we must do better.  We cannot take this responsibility lightly; we cannot cut corners as dads while teaching our children what integrity is all about.  As dads, we have the responsibility to teach our children the importance of integrity.  

A great illustration of integrity speaks of a master carpenter that is set to retire.  Even though he is ready to retire, as a favor to his boss, he commits to building one more house.  As the project continues, it becomes very evident that the carpenter’s heart is really not into building this one last house.  Because his work was unsupervised, it was easy for him to cut corners and resort to shoddy workmanship. It was an unfortunate way to end his career.  As the day arrives for his boss to inspect the home, he states that there would be no need for that, as he knows of his quality of work through the years and turns and hands him the keys to the home as a retirement gift.   Imagine the carpenter’s surprise, and his shame.   If only he had known that all along he was building his own house.  He would have done a much better job.  But, now he was stuck with his own shoddy workmanship. Although only a story, how often have we experienced or have we witnessed similar cutting of corners.

We must take every opportunity to instill integrity into our children.  We have to be the examples that we want our children to see.  As Rodney Atkins sings in his 2006 #1 hit song “Watching You”, our children listen and see everything we do.  Inspired by his sons actions of singing one of his dads songs to his teacher which included a swear word, the song basically explains that in life, sometimes we do not make the right choice, sometimes we do not say or do the right thing.  As the song continues, when asked where he learned such a word, the boy then responds with, "I've been watching you, dad, ain't that cool.  I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you". This is why it is even more reason to own up and do the right thing. As dads, we cannot make excuses, we must act with integrity.

Integrity is what we do when no one is watching. The life we are building is our house, that our children will live in and learn from over time. We are the carpenters.  Each and every day that we pound a nail, put up a beam, or paint a room, integrity is displayed. We have an obligation to build wisely, even when we think no one is watching. That’s integrity, and as a father, you are helping to build the future that will carry on your good name.   

Monthly Quote:  “Your reputation may or may not be accurate. Others determine your reputation, but only you determine your integrity.” - Tony Dungy

Monthly Challenge:  Take the time to watch the music video by Rodney Atkins and listen to the words of “Watching You” intently.  Sit down with your children and discuss a time that you have said or done something that you may not be proud of, but by being immediately honest things worked out.  This activity will emphasize that even when we make mistakes, the most important thing we must do is to be honest take responsibility and live a life of integrity.  

coshoctontribune.com

Ohio Teacher Evaluation System 5 Key C's to Success

While school districts all across the state work to establish their new teacher evaluation system, I thought I would share 5 Cs to Success.  Today's teachers and students  are going through the greatest change in educational history.  Through piloting the OTES system the past two school years, listed below  is what I believe to keys paramount to your success.  

1. Committee

• Representative of all buildings
• Mix of admin and teachers
• Contract language designates
• Recommend plan for Superintendent, Board Approval

2. Communication

• Ongoing and up to date
• Use website, emails etc.  
• Use of common message/voice
• People are down on what they are not up on

3. Consistency

• Reason for a strong point #2
• Concerns arise when having more than one evaluator at a building level
• Feel that one evaluator may be easier
• Teacher/Evaluator assignment : Departments to Principal/Asst. Principal
• Teachers will compare

4. Collection

• Subjectivity with evidence
• Etpes document entry

5. Conversation

• Most important beginning part of process
• Pre and Post conferencing
• Listen more than talk - 2 ears only 1 mouth -- hear twice as much as say
• Serving the teachers, and creating teachers-- serving and creating the future